orgami's Diaryland Diary

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cannot make up my brain

its been four days since I wrote
here I thought I was here Saturday
maybe I was just reading these
things though

its snowing out and cold nice cold
though and people have their new
led bulbs up on the trees and porchs
etc Not every house mind you but enough to give NOrth Bay a christmasy
atmosphere

I haven't been down to the lake in
days and days months perhaps
I should go there one of these days
and walk along the lake front walkway
There will be people at this time of
year Die hard North Bay people
jogging walking stumbling etc

The Christmas train came into town
last night I didnt stay around but
went home too cold for me or damp
but the train is lit up from one end
to the other with Christmas lights
and they play music too from the boxcars
or from a flatcar Not sure about
it One year it was famouse country
wester singers on board playing Carols
(not Eunices or Annes though hah hah)
(sic)

I am well I listen to my five hundred
dollar christmas present the new stereo
we have and the fifty a month digital cable system we have with a few movie
channels and educational television
and boring other stuff
Its fun just figuring out the remote

christmas cake gotta have more of this
I just love the stuff to death
so sweet and succulent
the flesh crumbly and melting of sugar
on the tongue pure unadulterated heaven on earth experience

anyway

today I am out paying bills with money
orders and going directly to some of the offices takes me some time
and I thought I would have money left
over for a coffee but in the end i
have just enough money to buy stamps
and enveolopes and money orders and
thats it But I come here and read
ADBUSTERS and NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC
and sometimes world war two aircraft
books something about all that flying and dying that gets to me

anyway its almost six and will be dark
when I get outside maybe I should
just stick around downtown until
the AA meeting starts around seven
I could just sit inside and read for
an hour or I could just go home
and watch television
oh the choices the agony of choice
why me lord ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhwhyy

I'll walk home
i'll catch another meeting another
day
or maybe not............
I cannot make up my freakin' mind
lately maybe I should go to the waterfront and look around
like its only a mile walk

....dont know
think I'll go home for now
bye/

5:58 p.m. - 2005-12-05

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