orgami's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a glimpse into Stevens life

Lori is short
five one and three quarters
she likes to say
and fine boned

she has a cute little
face and sparkling eyes
behind her little oval
glasses

the big prominent recognizable
thing about her is her big
eighties hair she has dyed
it this plum red colour and
her hair is fine so with the
help of the morning ritual
with an ancient blow dryer and
curling iron and some kind of
hair spray coaxes it to stand
up and out with her trademark
bangs over her eyes

because i love the eighties
i loved the hair and the smiling
face ha ha still do when we
are waiting for the bus and i
am talking to her

i am six foot one inch and weigh
two hundred and fifty pounds
(by now) wear old dark brown
work boots and scufy blue jeans
an ancient shirt that has simulated
mummy wrap on it T shirt that is
it was for a computer game promo
my old green koolah jacket that
i am kind of proud of now
its got history like me
people pay to get stuff that looks
distressed hell mine went through
distressing times with me and
it still keeps me dry in the rain
and slightly warm in the cold
and i have that Ace of Spades
thing happening on the back
its all chipping off too
i have a big gut well its big
enough for me but this only
happened after i turned forty
and my wallet chain i bought
at the skater store West 49
in the mall

it wasnt that long ago i had
my hair dyed black i wore a
black shirt and pants and
painted my fingernails black
too

crazy eh??

i got photos sitting in my
e-mail that my ladyfreind
took of me They are of a wild
man i look up to no good

my hair is so long
i mean i used to have a shaved
head and only a goatee
now the goatee is long and
the sideburns are wiggin out

if i had it my way i would
shave it all off well keep my
hair short but i have this
little chin and this big long
nose big sloping back forehead

presently i have been likened
to a wooly mammoth and bigfoot
and a relative of a certian
insurance commercial on television
that has cave men for its spokes
persons

not being blessed with good looks
made me sad for years
i didnt realize its the persons
character that makes the person
i hadnt developed back then
never had that self esteem like
i do now

now i am a character
truly

and i like myself
and its taken a long hard road
to even write this

of course Lori helped me out
so much she just encouraged
never put me down never harassed
me or bitched at me shot from
the hip straight the way it is
probably the first woman in years
that i respect

i was so bitter for a long long
time when i was in a relationship
had such an attitude against
women especially strong independent
ones my parents split when i
was twelve and it took this long
to get over it
my mom left we stayed with dad
dad drank and slept a lot until
he met his new wife to be
a very nice woman for him
mom found a nice man for her
everyone in the end was very
happy except for me
hated anyone that cared about me
fuck off and sit in your own
corner was my primal attitude
bad eh?????????

i am NOT that way anymore
i am growing
and glad about this
Lori makes a lot of decisions
that turn out to be good ones
for us in the end
and sometimes she even listens
to me when i have a grand plan

damn its almost twelve again
i keep doing this

but i was writing a long e-mail
to a freind in Toronto
well must go
but i made up that little poem
for you
hope you like it
its not supposed to make any
sense sometimes
occasionally i just like the
way the words can be pressed
together
like water over/around stones
in a stream
late and i must be going

..O..

11:28 p.m. - 2007-01-04

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next