orgami's Diaryland Diary

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some kind of note about the past year

Okay read through my ton of ol
notes from yesteryears

why?

just because i can

i have no photographs
save a few from 2005
then nothing since

but i have tons of Diaryland
stuff and it looks like
Chaosdaily has been the one
person who has made the most
entries since i found this site
in 2004

im like what the f**k??

there are the rest of you
numerous also in your entries
to me

i just cant believe ive come
this far in getting better
over time Like this part
time job that has helped me
feel usefull instead of useless

hanging out with professional
people with jobs kids and cars
and aches and pains etc
Not my usual gang of before
hustlers people full of hurt
disabled for years no cars
no kids no job etc but with
lives of course just different
then the people i work with

been here in this beautiful
place and have invited our
freinds here to enjoy this place
watch movies eat meals hang out
in the back yard celebrate
holidays etc All of Loris doing
of course shes the organizer
inviter of these events im just
trained by her to help cook
prepare food clean hang out talk
with guests etc its good for me
because i was not that social
as much and the people i chose
then to hang out with were not
really that good to hang out with
even lately we have some issues
with my new associates that we
thought were going to work out
but lately have been weasels
and back stabbers but one
never knows unless one gives the
chance Now we know so it wont
be long before that so called
freind will fall from grace
it wont take long we think Blow
up the ego the rest will follow
in sequence hes wobbling already
trying to handle it all

anyway not my concern

my troubles are that i was not
socialized or chose to be
so im selfish and or controlling
dont trust much or believe much

but i seem to care and not a
true psychotic person

and recently a person has come
foreward to tell me that hes
changed much too in the last
year and i know that he has
hung out with us a lot and that
we probably have helped him
get comfortable around us and
maybe himself and others too

so i am like thinking Hey man
maybe its true about people
affecting and effecting other
people Lori just believes in
the good of people even when i
say No No the con the bad the
poor of human nature are in
these ones and i am wrong
sometimes People sometimes
do change i have changed
i have seen the freinds we
have associated with change
over the past years

i am catching up on maturity
slowly it gives me faith for
myself i do much more believe
somethings anyway
still a lot of miles to go
but it is better then it was
so much so

not sure what the hell it is im
trying to say

just tired right now
gotta get going
get some sleep before
morning

wake up and hang out
and tommorrow its back
to work for the week
and get paid Hurray!!

..O..

3:03 a.m. - 2007-09-23

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