orgami's Diaryland Diary

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day that wasnt

so that was it
worn out

called in
cant work today
cant bend over
and tie my own
damn shoes

and last night
no two nights
past crying
about a dead
childhood cat

what the hell
was that all
about

like looking
into my own
face and seeing
myself
but not

who am I

everythings
backwards
in dreams
i try not to
remember those

try to forget
what they even
try to represent
to me

have to go back
to bed now
took my meds
will sleep
again

work today
I will be okay

but the scale of
depression is bottomless
and the distance clear
is so far

cannot believe the ache
of the soul
its much more then any
physical pain

its something I had thought
i had buried since childhood
something I kept buried
but am not burying it anymore
and thus it comes at all
hours and moments notice

so I just cry now
and its happening more and
more

its frightening
to be not in control
during those brief
moments

cant let anyone see me

god Im so tired

2:28 a.m. - 2008-06-13

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