orgami's Diaryland Diary

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old man take a look at my Scars

Flew off the bike March something or April cant remember
just the crunching noise
the thick gristle rending noise
sitting up with helpers reaching down
and now long long after the shoulder
immobilizer long taken off
(up there with hats and toques mitts
in the front closet)

but the arm oddly not right
like a bone is loose sharply nibbling
at the muscle or tendon
the scapula musclature aching sore
like someone kicked me in the back
something come undone something
working overtime
and the weight feeling on the left
arm Have to stop to lift it up
now and then cradling it like a dog
with a wounded leg

o but getting old is something
forty six this season soon
pure white hair creeping in and now
this IN a hurry driving like a madman
in rush hour traffic and waved at a freind of all things

and the chain slipped and I had one
hand on the wheel ( steering bar )
foot slipped driving to the pavement
and good rubber on soles of boots
stopped The front tire got yanked
sideways and basic intertia gravity
etc worked and I flew

only two weeks in or less carried 18 kg of cat litter on packsack home
Our cats needed it
my arm didnt It rebelled and it hasnt
been same sense Put on jacket or hoody
and weight of the clothing sitts on
the big bump jutting up where the
bone is either knitted or not knitted
and it feels like knitting needles
are stabbing the nerve

its a kindred freind now this pain
I douse it with pain killers and
anti imflammatories for the already
soft tissue damage in the back
and other crashes from the long
trail

the ache is like a consuming animal
something that just gnaws forever
like a spirit hell for the busted
ness its kind of cool in an odd
way takes my mind off the internal
dialogues settles down the conspiracy
theories Its making life real
in more ways then one

I no longer feel invisible and yet
still ride like a madman on the bike
Still without helmet "Damn the
Torpedoes and full steam ahead"

like my brother whom remembers me
as shooting at them at a party with
the fireworks More exciting to hold
them Live fire works
we have seen them explode in the sky
why not down here on mortal earth

ah age and its blunt wonders
the cold today in my finger that
got almost broken last summer

I ache therefore I have existed!

ah nirvana at last

12:02 p.m. - 2010-05-15

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