orgami's Diaryland Diary

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curtial essential Knowing..

Schmitten

care not
I sit and sip
this black coffee
doused with cream
and sugar

preferred like
newspaper with colour

collars and trinket
change
and worn shoes

I pull my dreams awake
disolving chapters
from bow certianty

Feel the press of her
against me
Remember the hot mix
of memories
the textile the paint
the furnishing and
personal eccentricities
of time

cupboards a pale green
a single sink
mute stainless

coffee forgotten behind
a jar of pasta sauce
semi comglomerated
I just poured in some
hot water and stirred
it up and then cut it
again by three cups

FIREKING with blue logo
design

silver spoon from god
knows where

there are wrappers on the
carpet from the fast food
take away
an ashtray with the remains
of the slender cigarettes

a magazine with the suduko
half laboured through
and a copy of RUMI's poems

the cd player missing one
speaker had some band I havent
heard of

I sit on the bed and drink
my coffee and the cat leaps up
on the sill and looks out at
the raindrops falling from the
roof edge high above

There are plastic bags from
the street stuck in the tall
reach of the twisting hedge
seperating the neighbours yard
A tarp covers the rear portion
of a car and is weighed down
with cast iron headers

the chimney on the garage two
doors over has a white pail on
it

In the living room the city television
news is on and a heavy streetcar
rolls past How i hate and love
the sound as it changes my dreams
rattles the window glass in the foyer
when Im doing the laundry
I can just hear it when Im sitting
int the orange plastic chair
the dryer thundering
but its small
like rain drops cutting in
between wavelengths of sound

Like sighs between words
they are "tells" of the world
signs of how things are going

I feel like reading
looking at woodcuts
handpainted on acid free
paper When qaulity
was insured before television
before pulp madness
reeled out information
like cheap fortunes

Cold air leaks about the old
windows They are huge
back when gaslamps were
expensive to run when
electricity was still a
novelty and respected

will come for another
few days and put up the plastic
string door sealant about
the tolerances
hang up the LED christmas
lights

Will go shopping in the markets
and try to buy some Calamari
forgo some of this and that
and buy some good Spumoni
a small brick

Look for some second hand Jazz
that will play on the old wreck
of a system

"You think you know everything
about women dont you??"
You say when you are picking
the shiny flecks of paint off
your nails

was that yesterday or just
an hour ago
My mind is thinking about the
bridges and the suicide barriers

"No...no I dont know anything about
them at all...and I tried to hard
too but I'll never know"
and I smile and laugh softly
recalling the years spent
thinking I truly did know something

I gave a few years to the "Oh Boy"
Network but never mastered Golf
couldnt catch any fish and was almost
sick when we went north to Hunt

sat and worked with women for years
my mother so powerful She had her own
car kept everyone in line and cleaned
up all the broken lives THe nurse
the telephone operator that she was
She taught me to cook She taught me
to sew to do laundry and fold and iron
the dress shirts I took to wearing
in high school Then she was gone

making dinner you calmly discuss
with my your present lives
like stock options
all the pursuits
and irons you are
tending in your fires

I dont ask about the bruises
the wear and tear I see
when I visit
the new scars
the new looks

"Do you feel guilty"
you say more then ask
and I never am sure
about where you are
asking from

"No..I say certian of
things.."
and you dont push it

its like sleepwalking or
crossing a river on thin
ice sometimes yes its
safer to walk the mile
to get somewhere
but sometimes the gain
is in the direct boldness
of the risk

in winter you can walk
on water

but Im still thinking
pondering and the cat is rubbing
its chin on my hand
my coffee sways in the
cup The thin light shines
through the parted curtian
and the rain
picks up speed and the
wind sways it into the window

I think more then know
that I love you

more and more

1:19 p.m. - 2010-11-14

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