orgami's Diaryland Diary

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Looking after things...

living in the Inn or Motel or whatever
lovely old retro place
NOT hiding putting out my number

then some come forward from before
from the past smiling freindly
hmm what do they want??
waiting for the question

then a meeting with family
but its tangled so messed up
Just phone ahead get in the car
but no there is this morasse
about it all sticky and oozing

wow so I wait I set it up for
them to arrive and wait
and give up No message
no call to say they cannot come
or are coming so Im off to the
library like I always do

Cruel you say?? if the world has
no discipline If it was all a test
to make me sit and miss the soup
kitchen so I dont have a meal
and then the library??? Im too
old at this game My end was together
I can hustle when I want too
and Im sorry if I have small patience
at times its just my nature
I have so much other good parts about
me

At fifty its too small to sweat it
or get a resentment that they just
could get it together to arrive
and if they did arrive when I was
walking here then well what am I
to do I gave them from morning
till two thirty almost

there are issues on the other end
between two people there
something Im familar with and dealt
with long ago and although the
switchs are thrown to annoy me
it does not greatly send current
down the line I enjoyed my walk
down the hill and am here writing
like normal

Work was crazy again
payday tommorrow I can buy food
and go shopping for a dress shirt
and pants that fit now that Im not
eating so much as before

and Ive been sober long enough to
return to something of sanity for
the moment

Do I feel sorry that Im not waiting
forever?? No I have a life
I am important to myself and to them
I gave it a reasonable amount of
time and acted on a decision that
Im comfortable with

and Im going to pick up some new
VHS movies to watch
Last night it was Jack Kerouk and
a program on Wolves in the Canadian
Rockies in Banff park a place
I visited with family long ago
the scientists female students noticed
that a female was the alpha in the pack
something they did not pay heed too
I know females can be alpha Not
just wolf packs but human packs too

anyway thats it for todays moment
no poetry today
but a valueable notation to sometimes
take action for the self
after some consideration

2:24 p.m. - 2011-03-09

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