orgami's Diaryland Diary

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Krystallize

should shouldnt it
like my glasses coveted
and eventually forgotten
in pants pockets on the
floor hearing them
break like brittle bones
underfoot one night to
check the stars the empty
parking lot see how many
cars and trucks are there..
still work on one arm
just one portion fractured
and no money to replce them
OR the bike tires
one mountian bike
one eighties racing bike tube
im hoping both bikes given to
me street and garage orphans
and I use these bikes
put the klicks on them
to get around errands trips
to chill at the dock and hill
for a view

now Im walking
with my torn pantleg fluttering
too I have to sew them up
with my broken glasses and
my needle and thread
just like my mama taught me

listening to music
takes my mind off the ridiculous
way Im living
spending all my cash on addictions
and helping an ex out

why help out the ex
because maybe I want a mourner or
two should I die of idiotness
over winter when depression and
the long northern nights drag on
when weather and atmosphere trigger
shit in emotions and feelings
and the hungry ghosts of longing
and regret come knocking
to cheer one up

that and fucking gin and pain killers
but so what I dont have anyone
now
I can get wasted in my room
with my television my telephone
my empty mini fridge and the haunted
bathroom and the rather comfortable
bed

and listen to my music over and
over on my headphones trying to
figure out what route I took to
get this hopelessly lost

nothing to do but admit Im lost
and sit here for awhile until
I fathom a plan
its going to take a shit load
of work to get the hell out
of wherever here is

Even if I kinda like it
even if it feels like home.......

12:19 p.m. - 2011-08-11

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