orgami's Diaryland
Diary
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p o e t z u n i t e ...
hey dear reader
this is a brand new year...
and um..my own personal cupboards
are bare yet again..and i am
kind of in a fix these days...
however...my tome of writing
has always been the bleak and
forever LahLahlandish!!!! because...i love The Underground Youth
The XX Marilyn Manson Planka
from former russia...and many other rock
greats for inspiration as i type... or when everyone is asleep or when
i can hit the library to sit there
banging away on the keys in my get up
and listen to opera..nato alphabet or
my old cold war movies from the fifties
about nuklear survival.. usually i do this alone in the comp
room we have set up then...(I've been
asked to leave the girls twice or mayb
three times now thinking about the
one month away...) now im elsewhere
and been playing the kids
XBOX a lot...games like Homefront..
america taken over by koreans etc etc..
freedom fighter characters making it
to the west coast from colorado...
Silent Hill the original and second game. I love the nurse....and now
Gtran Theft Auto games four and five..
played three there for a year straight..
so...whats this got to do with poetry? the games are in New York..San Franciso
and the mid of states....
I was lucky enough to travel to some
places before my life ground to one
city..one little few block radius for
the past twelve years basically..
I was thinking about the poets..rich
or poor whom just went to college and
got english paperwork or study film
study and then became poets or rock
people....Kurt and Jim wrote poems
and sketched...or at least Kurt did
and Elliot Smith died from suicide
they said but whom knows....the females
are famous to...the dying breed of
people and the old greats who just
kaputed out on alcohol and overdoses
or self inflicted like thompson..or
wendy o williams whom i liked... where is all this going? the old days before freakin internet
you had to read magazines or get
the underground from the people who
were subculture....cult and extremist
groups...old fashioned phones....
college and univercity factions...
secret groups which still gather today
but like their wireless....coffee houses
etc.... so yah..old days because i grew up in
the mid seventies as a child and teen
in the eighties.... Now its great because you young people have the internet..but in my time it was
much music and magazines....whatever the
wealthy friends whom travelled to trade
sell hustle in the big cities brought
all the radical stuff back with them
to share...vcr and bootleg records..
cassettes....no cds then poets wrote on typewriters....manual
or electric typewriters or longhand
or put it in their journals which
few rarely shared because as an artist
or poet in high school this was the
bane and im sure it still might be.. so poets had to gather then in the big
cities or were on the road kicking it
up and were living before actually
writing all their lives...real or
fictional.....most of the ones i hung
out with smoked weed ...drank like fish
and were always with someone..drugs
etc....they seemed to be really hard
to live with...ended up living with
husbands wives whom worked and had
the money or inheritance backing to
continue on where most people without
backing would be working legit jobs
or in the hustle trade..to busy to
be surviving and carrying items like
laptops typewriters library time..
except this is probably happening.. in the big true cities of mass culture
i know there is probably poet groups
etc.....in my little city of fifty
five thousand in this retro tight run
hard pressed place its like the old
fifties...a cop town and the violence
is getting crazy but its always been
kept low key here...college town too
hockey town..... so poets...whats this got to do with
poetry....well jack was a jock
the beat poet and the rest were
musicians....but in the very beginning
where did they hang out....whom
did they share their work with if any
and how did they know they were going
to be the pop wave sensation before
being consumed by the pyromania of the
ego through culture social and inner
pressures? some of them anyway.. i dont see people discussing or reading
aloud poetry in the now commercial mostly or get out of town places...
no one is really making movie clips for
u tube about this very cool city that is
vague and kept so....they want it low
key...same same same.... we have very dramatic things here...
lake rivers creeks boreal forest..
not like the west coast or east old
growth forests etc...
we have history but again its subdued i came from this town...to write on the internet....isolated one winter or summer...all the people i knew then
were like traveling kid old man or old lady to look after work..school..
winters kill us and no real jobs..
enough but its very upper learned now
or part time part time.. which leaves not much time to working
on poetry or sitting about..everyone
just gossips about one another or gov
or hockey from what ive been listening
too.......i think i met three very
interesting people..in twelve years..
the rest are nice north american canadians....i have a hard time relating
to these people....i like books and
politics and history and know a lot
of people...but not anything more then
a hello on the street... so what am i getting at? nothing ..other then to say that
the internet is where i am dumping
my writings and poetry through
the last few years..thoughts
etc......i have come close to
overdosing by accident...just
alcohol and taking all the meds
then when i was drinking full
time...i quit.i had too....long
horror story for everyone and
myself whom had anything to do
with me then...see the poet stuff..
i drank..i wrote poems drunk..
some very creative works etc...
except one doesnt live long like
this...the underground movement
gets tired and plots retirements
easy fast up here.... moving along... the game playing characters are
very interesting..the random
parts i like very much...the out
there people are more and more
like myself i see..... possibly one of the reasons my
mates dont put much into me
the women take so much of the
crazy land and talk and cant
really wait it out for me to snap
out of it and wake up normal im not saying one has to be crazy
to be a poet.....but i write poetry
and i am crazy...portions of me.. bringing it to the coffeehouses
and talking routine.....
i talk to the older guys my age
because im fifty so these guys
are older...one or two women
now and then but they back off.. semi retired one way or another with
wealth or contact with people..
they like my view on the world
maybe because in some ways like
the crazies there is a connection
to something real.. and thats where my big impact
statement is...
i think that poets write shit that
plugs into something that exists in
many...a wavelength a word language
that humans relate too....
no matter the age...although lets
face it...a young dylan...a young
marianne faithful had impact didnt
they! some still are doing it
but old is well....old...
which is what i am....this old
poet..my looks are going fast..
my mind..my aging crapping out
body etc.....if i quit writing its
because im either dead or in jail
or in the psych....this is true.. so if it goes on more then a year
something serious went on...
i would gamble on death but whom
knows...i dont even..
i live on the edge..not the true
edge like some are... but an edge nonetheless. i write poetry because maybe i speak
of this poet language like the rest
had or held for a time...the ear
of many through music or medium..
and if they are gone....well thier
artistic efforts endure..like this
writing im doing here that if any
have made it this far....this is
what day to day talking to me is like..
see why people tire of me?? so.....i come here instead of trying
to put up flyers to gather poets
for a live reading etc....most places
have such a short season to live
pay bills rent heat so its hard to
rent places..... the internet is free...kind of.
everyone knows thought that the
big people monitor these sites
and my belief is that im here
im not hiding....im writing
and poetry is a kind of vent a
perusal..a mind propaganda
as poets hav e been viewed anyway
through the years....right up
there with cult leaders etc.... this is a long assed entry
which i will delete in a day or
less.... i am very grateful for those whom
are here...writing as they do
of their struggles....its nice
to let you know that im not doing
all that great in life either..
but as a creative person i think im
doing damn good....im writing..
im not giving up writing and
im starting to work through all
this dialogue to cut it down to
a meaningful paragraph.... im buried in here..but im not
giving up..... and i love diaryland...
and you poets.. the few whom i read.. like three of you okay two.. that i know of... thats it..
im finished for now... thank you
10:29 p.m. - 2014-01-05
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