orgami's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

weather

been feeling the cold.the damp..
shifts in the house..city..the usual.
im just an old dude with no money..
hardly much smokes..that today dont
drink or wander about drunk..never
knowing where i was going to arrive
in what state...the intellect shit
was the scary thing though....and
that intuition....that seemed to be
the more intense the more out there
i got.....anyway....work going..
house in order here...there..my city
harder in some places and more brutal
and yet...same..other then its getting
fixed up...and costing a fuck of a lot
of money to eat..travel..live..

glad i got my shit together to make
it easier to move into the new world
order thats been going on lately..

middle of winter..we dont have much
snow up here like some....or too dry
in summer....just enough of this and
that to keep us going...not much work
either for the non trained...tell a phone shit and clerks part time...the
rest is a hard won to get it and keep
it position for all else....

no great muses to write of...most are
retired and moved back to hubbies or new
boyfriends as they should...i just cruise the mall and my big event is to
get the a and d girls to stamp my coffee
card full for a free cup of coffee from
there which is very good actually..

then do chores and errand runs and
eventually sit up all night long on
the internet listening to music or
movies or vid or the usual stuff that
maybe men like to view..

then dive into the writing..poetry
stuff that probably only a few men
are into....although i know how to
put some parts of cars and bikes
together and cut right of ways for
pole lines with a chainsaw and
woodchipper and know how to use a
rock drill....was a chimney sweep
too and put in woodstoves for a living
for a time.the expensive ones..and
they sent me to deal with the trouble
customers...i was that good with this
gift of gab....

then my life fell apart..i got drinking
full time...in and out of psych wards
and in and out of peoples lives....
till now...i live on next to nothing
after rent for a decent place....ride
the bus lately which sucks up most
of my spare change for coffee like i
used to enjoy...and took up smoking for
whatever insane reason in my head like
i used to do years ago....

in big room...one of them...visiting here....big yard..very quiet part of town....hill nearby..lake..streets of
suburbia and shops but only active in
day.....hear the wind in the trees
outside the window right now and feel
its breeze from it open to air out
room....we can see the stars at night
up here...the streets are slushy and
sidewalks which everyone bitchs about
but what are you going to do....we have
basic very new machines...its not going
to pick up the water and throw that
away.....taxes only cover what is
possible....the place is quiet here
many together in stylish put together
ness...not old fall down rebuild for
cheap with everyone funky and getting
along for most...

i dont know.....other then here i dont
talk much to anyone....i tried a few
times but im pretty intense and what
i talk about is out there crasy stuff
i dont even write here...
no reason for it.....

i have a woman that loves me but we
have issues and are not intimate at all
i think like many are like this..
but one has to make big money to have
mistresses or buy services...and anyway
im cheap..and poor....or a good interesting character and handsome...
or dynamic or bold...
i lack on all the levels needed..

im just starting to get a grip on
things now....at this late age..
had girlfriends long ago...all very
nice...all thought and think im nuts
but keep in touch...

im upgrading facebook and gmail
and got a smart phone for christmas
that im taking pics with..

will come back for more writing later

1:03 a.m. - 2014-01-13

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next