orgami's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

past past present

going over my photo album
the few pictures that never got thrown
out or destroyed by my throwing them
into the fire or just plain losing
them somehow
it went from boxes to one carry all
shoulder bag

faces of people not looking into the
camera I try to read their eyes
and then the head on shots
some not laughing at all but looking
anxious trying to tell me to hurry
up and take the picture
there are many of these
Chloe sitting on the tool box in front
of the sixty four chevrolet that my freind restored She is looking down
intentionally not posing or smiling for me In the background is Ray getting
out of his truck In three months since that photo was taken he will roll his truck in a drunken drive home and die of injuries Here is my mother sitting in the basement of the house we lost in the bankrupsy Als face hidden but smiling
he was happy most days and still is
my mother not yet destroyed by cancer

oh thank god I just found this note
I thought I lost it
yah just trying to think about everything again which makes no sense
try to let this go and just live
even though its stressful right now
to be in the moment not in the past
that is my chore also today
.............

10:44 a.m. - 2005-07-27

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next