orgami's Diaryland Diary

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M O O N G L A R E

mother used to knit me sweaters
and tell me she loved me
would chide and joke with me
hug me and then tickle me roughly
with her long red fingernails
sinking them into my ribs
it drove me mad
to have wanted to just be held for
a moment longer to hold off the
eventual moment coming

when I was twelve she said "you can
look after your father now ..I did if
for all these years.." then she was
gone with her new man to voyages to
sandy warm shores of the Americas
and my father sunk into bitter dispair
for a couple of years until he found
a new mate And they both all married
and were happier then ever after
until death did undo them

and of ME I got drunk and drugged
and stupified and angry and sad and
self pitying to have gone from being
spoiled to getting out on my own
had no self esteem and with alcohol
forget it never even had a chance
But now I am growing Just now
after all these years at last to grow
Its very frightening and scary
I am so overweight I weigh two hundred and thirty five pounds and i want to weigh around two hundred twelve
but I eat too much Oral fixation and anxiety so it goes

enough about me

tonight the moon hangs in the ether of
the outerworld like a sullen eye
shinning down swallowing the city in
her dull glare she peeks through
window blinds and finds sleeping
dreamers to haunt

god what a hideous poem I just wrote
I am creeping myself out
living in their empty shells
of windows drawn down with blinds
in houses home of distant kin
i read and wept and laughed in glee
the madness that surrounded me
while radio voices came and went
throughout the terrors of the nights
of just the walls the ghosts and me
....O...

11:53 p.m. - 2006-02-12

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