orgami's Diaryland Diary

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short order

here is this blank screen
like a whiteout
that hand of winter
across the face
the strokes across the
eyes

what shall I talk about now?

I didnt tell you
but Chloe came up for a
visit one chilly Saturday
Carolee had put together
from her computer a little
book of Chloes and I's drawings
and Chloe and I looked at this
when we got home

Lori got to see my drawings
my really good drawings that i
did in the past And I got to
see Chloes totally amazing
sketchs and portaits

I have accomplished so much in
six months
Lori I owe so much credit too
she convinced me that this would
be good for me
That once people saw how good
I painted that they would be
coming to the shop to buy
my work And it all occured

My self esteem is pretty good
these days I was on the front
page of the city paper along
with three others from the shoppe
people still stop me on the street
or store and tell me they saw me
in the paper its a strange feeling
to be in the paper and not for
drunk and disorderly or crashing
cars

cut through my jacket this damned
wind
the ducks murmured on the frothy
water and the waves crashed into
the breakwall along the walkway
it was dark down here
and I was alone
all down the bay there was just
empty pathway and shrub trees
so different in summer this
route was
barren now with the gardens
pruned quiet without the resturant
music playing
the carousel put away for next season
just the wind whipping the sand up
from the beach across the frozen
grasses
So many thoughts in my head
was I doing right in my daughters
life?? my talks with her
was I saying the right thing
was I too much a freind and not
a Dad?? was I paying enough
attention to Lori
the city slowly changed as I
walked farther south past the
idling engines in the railyards
past the smoky burning smell of
the little foundry and the
sewage treatment plant
the small creek was dark and
high rippling quielty under
the bridge Soon I would be
under the railline and back out
to the main street
I had not met a single person
just the traffic passing on
the roadway
the wind holding my hand
my memory a sail of pulling
thoughts
...O..

8:29 p.m. - 2006-12-08

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