orgami's Diaryland Diary

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trinkets and beads

slept all day today
returned in my dreams to
my hometown in the summer
forgotten how many miles
it was over the hills and
across creeks and swamps
to the nearest large
town

my parents were alive
my freinds mom was alive
my old bycyle was still
in the shed out back

woke up to the sound of
the television in the living
room and someone scrapping
snow on ashphalt outside
the tri-plex or next door

spun up from the dream and
felt remorse and sadness
that i never spent more time
with those people or places
i was so hyper or sound
asleep half the time
could never sit still for
a proper visit with anyone
always had to be moving
around and then it was tired
and depressiong that would
make me sleep all day long

but as i sat up and got
ready to come out and make
some mid afternoon coffee
i remembered our party we
had here and how happy it
was for everyone How young
and alive and vibrant the
kids were They helped out
and washed the dishes remember
and that is usually my job
so I was very thankful to
them for this

Lori was still napping on
the couch I made coffee in
our brand new super white
clean coffee maker
the old brown dirty coffee
maker we bought at the second
hand store is sitting on the
floor next to the new garbage
container in the kitchen
opened up the fridge and am
still amazed at all that food
in there

made coffee and sat on the couch
with Lori talked to her about
my dreams made her a coffee

havent been outside all day
and that all happened hours
ago

looked through my computer for
the deleted file for the photos
but they are long gone
Ladyfreind came up from downstairs
and had a dinner with us too
we all watched the funniest
commercials for 2006 two shows
it was funny some of them
Tweet sat on the back of the couch
with her head stuck through the
vertical curtains watching the
neighbour across the street push
snow off his driveway with an
electric snow shovel

checked on this computer and it
has NERO on it and a whole bunch
of other programs for CD burning
so when we get our high speed
light our ladyfreind will help
us get this cd player going or
give us one from downstairs to
work so we can download music

i'm still excited about this
machine

Read about Saddam so thats over
with

New Years tommorrow night
yawn Just another day for me
i dont care i have my bus pass
provided for me from the shop
so i can catch the Pinewood to
work instead of the Campus Special
because it doesnt start to run
again until the eighth of the
new year

another yawn
been yawning since i got up
all that turkey and pumpkin pie
and cheese ball and crackers
coffee should have been waking
me up some but its not doing
what it usually does

hah one of the big things at
the party that Lori liked to
do was run into the bathroom
and bring out my bar of soap
for people to smell
Its from the Bulk Barn in the
mall and its Carbolic Soap
It has a very strong antiseptic
odour the party goers had a
good laugh about it and someone
commented that it smelt like
dog soap for fleas that one made
me laugh too I love the stuff
i usally buy Pears soap from
england but this is cheaper and
i like it better Somewhere in
my past i used this soap and
fell in love with it My other
favourite soap is a yellow bar
that is used by old time peoples
to wash floors and pre scrub
clothes the stuff has been around
for ages and ages my mom used to
use it and keep it under the sink
in the kitchen why all this talk
about soap?? well only three
years ago i was a hopeless drunk
living in that pirate room you
keep reading about and i wouldnt
shower and the alcohol would seep
out of me to be blunt i stank
and now i have a shower every day

I got on the bus a few days ago
to go to Bingo and this guy got
on the bus at the terminal
I was daydreaming enjoying my
nice daydreamind bus ride and
he makes his way to the back
of the bus and sits on the other
side of the back seat
Damn I thought why come all the
way back here why not sit way
up there where there were tons
of empty seats He kind of had
a stare about him He was only
sitting there for awhile when
I began to notice the strong
odour of urine coming from his
side of the bus So I looked
over at him and noticed that his
stare is that that comes with
a mental disability
who looks afer him i thought
where does he live who is his
worker?? what boarding house
does he live in?? was he going
to the mall?? my daydream was
over it was a thinking trip
before Bingo now

When I was in the pirate house
another old timer drank like a
fish and would pass out in front
of the television on the second
floor landing in the easy boy
all taped up and torn up and
he would piss his pants That
and he never showered or changed
his clothes so afer a while the
smell from the second floor
would be ungodly But that was
nothing compared to the first
thing in the morning smell
He would wake up sober and come
out around daylight to watch
CNN My room was up the stairs
around the corner on the third
floor He collected cigarette
butts from off the street in
the tin cans that sit outside
establishments now or anywhere
else that he could find them
and he would crush the tobacco
out of them and roll them up
in the yellow pages of a phone
book and chain smoke these
until he ran out around noon
The smoke was thick and oily
and would pour around the
cracks in my door and around
my old wooden door and wake
me up the chair was just in
front of the stair hallway
leading up to me

until i wrote the above i forgot
about the cigarettes and the
yellow pages rolling papers
oh man i am so glad i live
here with my clean smelling
soap

what happened to the old guy
we kicked him out then i moved
out he lived on the street
drinking his way around
sleeping on the benchs in
the little park downtown even
in the daytime eventually he
had a big heart attack or stroke
and was in the general hospital
for months and now he is in the
Pshchiatric hospital until they
can figure out where to put him
and look after him unless he
comes out in the spring and
drinks himself to death this time
for good

he was a wealth of history and
information about this city and its
many stories and i drank with him
sitting on the couch on the second
floor watching CNN with him
we could look down from beside the
chair through the big old windows
to the busy parking lot and street
or out of the big window in the door
that lead to the fire escape watching
the goings on at the Post Office or
the hair Salon across from our corner

i still see him around when we have
meetings at the psych concerning
the shop he comes to the meetings
for the coffee and cookies like
a few others
what can i say alcohol is a killer
and i have seen it eat many in the
few years i have been here

I wear cologne every now and again
we dont have it at work because of
the seizure issues and trigger
issues for smells for the clients
but when i go downtown or to the
mall i spray it on

i felt bad when i smelled because
i was raised in a clean home
but the booze had just dropped
me into the hole and i was not
leaving my alcohol to get out
and it part of it was my mental
illness just blinding me to
just sit and rot i wouldnt take
my medication and was staying
up all day and night etc

what else is there to know
well this is starting out to be
a good year compared to all of
where i have come from

its not bad at all

..O..

8:59 p.m. - 2006-12-30

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