orgami's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

long blog about not much

I can feel the history
of my now battered body
losing its battle
to my abuse
neglect

pushing winters
chill
through thin layers
too poorly clad
to think of spinal
health
and fingers
Knees
stuck in boot cut
jeans
just cotton weave
and nothing more

so now i ache
even on the sunniest
of days

with crapped out hip
and vertabrae that need
coaxing to bend
when I try to put on
my socks in the morning

and Im lucky
some are seized with rods
and cancers that flamed out
portions of their systems
missing this and that

all the checks I avoid now
blood test
screening
tube up the system to look
around

i disregard these things
as I did the heed of
cost the old men told
me then in my glory days
of stupid youth

they with frozen fingers
and rattling lungs
who dropped off the map
with massive coranaries
and lungs full of bottled
oxygen wheezing their
last moments away

already the silver NO white
is growing in my goatee
and moustache

im still confused
as I was at twenty

sometimes

I feel the sun like a cat
in the window
sometimes I bask
sometimes I even swim

my many medications to
keep me stable
not many but enough

writing here this
long blog
today

paragraphs piling up
like cordwood for some
cold nights when I'll
need them

go back and read them

I am thankful for what
I have today

I have my few freinds

My freinds here on diaryland
(two or three at least)

and other sites

and some real

So tired today
Im not eating lately
I want to be thin again
this fat I greedily
supped on

who am I too be so fat
when there are so many
needy

so self important

So tired

must go now
must go

2:03 p.m. - 2008-07-15

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next