orgami's Diaryland Diary

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self denial

put her on the pedestal
worshipping her for loving
someone like myself
someone who was ugly
like me
inside and out

all my hatred and anger
burning deep in the seam
of mind

the barren charred
wasteland

though I tried to reach
out
made a summers long attempt
but failed

who knows what you felt
about me
I was just mixed up
and depressed

and we just drove around
listening to David Bowie
Ziggy Stardust
talking about politics

never got around to sex
though you brought it up
once

you were too high

I put you up there beyond
my reach

now I know with experience
in life that women sometimes
dont judge by looks

that its not about wealth or
power sometimes
(not that bloody often though)

Today Lori I hugged and she
smiled at me and said that she
loves me because I'm tall and
makes her feel protected

Shes peeling off her defenses
and I'm getting nervous

Im afraid all I am is the peelings
that my core has been burned
out long ago

just a ghost in a spiritless
body

Love/hate

and all the dances

pay the piper

2:16 a.m. - 2008-07-19

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