orgami's Diaryland Diary

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keeping the faith

wow
dropping weight
not eating much
sleeping not too much
either but in nice place
s places

sunshine and the lake
the dusk falling

wlking to work catching
the bus feeling alone
and working today
pick up meds
say hello to freind

feeling the energy vibing
feel heartsick or sick to
mystomach with this not eating
and putting out a lot of
actitivity

why? why the dropping of
weight fat is luxury
fat is everyone else comfortable
and I want to represent that I
am not comfortable that I am
stripped down even emotionally
and the shoulder pain and back
pain is very strong not to mention
the heart pain

facing feelings that I tried to
avoid and holding it steady
not running no shying away from
them being in the now being in
control

crazy poet worker

Im writing like crazy to freind
and am going back on the meds
the off meds is like going into
the land to see a vision or
something but its not a good thing
sometimes its always powerful
though

my watch band hanging loosely on
me have to tighten up the belt
loving it as the fat drops away
though like It was saved up
happiness that I put on when I
was sad and even though Im sad now
I want to feel happy in a daring
kind of new way this probably
makes no sense at all but Im just
a writer poet so thats that

im okay though I love my new
shoes my new shirt and sunglasses
my long hair and long goatee and
moustache my wild eyes

they are so blue now that the sun
is tanning the angles

i just want to be loved
want someone to hold me and love
me and I never seem to find that
always find cold people
and I feel like Im freezing

its cool this hard stressed out
dieting away no sleep thing

i wnt to lay on the beach and catch
some sun just relax and not care
about all my Identification lost
my relationship fallen apart
my job still hanging in
and winter coming back again
and summer and no great summer love
or even this working one that I
want to hang on too

feel so good one minute and then
horrible the next but Im not going
to cry Im going to keep smiling
because I believe

3:55 p.m. - 2010-06-07

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