orgami's diary

orgami's Diaryland Diary

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im not fucking off Not yet

lean into the wooden wall
and the sun lingers
lost beyond the horizon
the sky burgundy and rich
the night falling swift

so much to be here
to leave the shore
down the jetty
this wooden decking
this cement landing

turmoil is lashing
inside
whitecaps and wind
and out here is calm

there is no where
to go but back

for now

knowing that I am
not welcome
that I am not loved

all my life I have
served so many
walked with many

for

acceptance
and in the end
recieved none

kicked in the ribs
while they take my
money
my medications
for their own purposeness
and I let them
sleeping while
they take my library
connection

do they Love me
is my attention going
somewhere new

if it is I cannot help
it

I tried to talk but they
ran away

no one wants to listen
its a mystery to them

I know that my poet Lover
I will find somewhere
and she will talk the
talk as I

and we will understand each

but its desert travel and
mirages now

I thirst for love like a parched
dune dweller
his oasis

a dream I keep dreaming

the true love
yet evolving

maybe its just a dream

but its beautiful

2:08 a.m. - 2010-07-20

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