orgami's Diaryland Diary

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aqualine

WhAtEVEr this moment is
climb from dream depths
from the truck drive
surface with cool morning
light trickling in
with the window shoved
up and the cold October
Sunday falling in
filling up all the worn
thoughts and sleeping
voices

waking up alone no warm
arms to embrace
just the old quilts
and that depth caught up
like the shadows still
swirling in the mirror

clock says its early and
my stomach rumbles
but why bother eating
make a coffee instead
and down a painkiller
while I try to let my back
settle in where its most
happiest which doesnt
work for me often
but we do our routine
while i wash my face
and walk about in my jeans

its always been this way
and I smell unwashed
like Ive lived in my dreams
for a week
and maybe I have
maybe I hope to see you so
I can even just talk a moment
catch your eye before you
have to go

even in dreams its hard to
articulate we are like reflections
crashing and merging
there is the long stillness as
all the kinetic energy settles
from our impact points

i only have time for quick details
no lipstick no eyeliner
a black sweater the grey skirt

the bruise of sadness weeps
from the sky
settling on the cold fabric of
distraction and then

just like that im sitting up
looking out the window

im just going to kill the appetite
with coffee and pills
but this other hunger
this is an agony

call it what you want
but i dont believe in Love

...

8:02 a.m. - 2010-10-17

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