orgami's Diaryland Diary

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fulkrum

Coffee was calm
mornings sun climbing
on the steaming summer
grass full of night
dew still

brightness

I take the cups because
my hands are cold in
winter I love the feel
of the warmth on my palms
I can the heat in my bones
and its comforting
the sip of it the cream
supple the sugar tart
and satisfying

staring out the window
just resting
always so much to do
staring at the sky the ravens
the traffic at the lights
wishing myself away
for a moment
just turning off from the
hectic frantic thoughts
that always drive

the guilt for never being
good enough fast enough
smart enough glib enough

sip some coffee to distract
the thoughts examining the
1920's windows on the brickwork
structure the modern windows
on the third floor the fifties
tower rising above the city
in its landmark white and orange
paint framework
how quiet it would be up there
just the wind moving through
the supports

I feel lost
theres no other feeling
and I doubt Ill be found

sip some more hot delicious
coffee feeling the heat
in my hands
No one will ask me for
coffee im just to much
a liability
I take myself for coffee
I talk to much about
stuff Describe the Ravens
nests on the towers and
the beautiful pattern the
chimney swifts make at dusk
coming from the old chimney
on the brick building

people know Im nuts
and I take another coffee
and feel more lost
pretending like I belong
there

all I can do is smile
and come back again
next day

and stare out the window...

8:14 p.m. - 2010-12-30

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