orgami's Diaryland Diary

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Skar (keep believing)

I was a child still when
I stutter cut my wrist
frustrated at the difficulty
the knives too dull
no razors (tendons still intact)

I was a young man when the
car rolled and I was thrown
against the door of the two
door coupe THe door bent
horrible and held but not
my arm Not the joint which
tore the gristle giving
and still I stayed inside the
car (Ejected from the vehicle)

no dying at the scene of a broken
back or neck No caved in head
as if there were a purpose beyond
the simplicity of all the wreckage

a screw and many stitches patched
me up

all the burns and scrapes and the
clavicle broken from the bike
chain coming off waving to a freind
road rash on the shoulder
give me a sling and Im carrying cat
litter or twenty four waters in
the packsack while biking One handed
fifty pounds and the bone seperates
two times like this and I sleep
on it protecting it and it heals
all jumbled up bent and a bump
and I sigh

my finger almost broken from
the faceplant off the rear deck
on the old bike took two years
to come back to normal
works fine now

luck is not defined humilty to the
higher is

and inside the Skarland of all the
wounds taken and sheltered fostered
and tended self esteem taking
hits and low in the water but I held
my own I got here
I am grateful

Intensive care overdosing
and still they were kind and caring
snowbank freeze pop gave me new
clothes that were warm and kind
when I woke up

now I try to stay away from alcohol
today even if at times I still
hear my own voice taunting me
filling in for the dead the lost
"who do you think you are"
and I think
Im me
thats all I need to start with
whats life without the beautiful
demarcations
without the scars
I love myself

I have too

4:35 p.m. - 2011-05-17

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