orgami's Diaryland Diary

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basin bowl day
the rains collecting like
a stain

No money for the cafe
no money for nothing
barren pockets
but

I have my room
my television
my supplies though
few in the cupboards
along with the array
of meds to keep me
grounded focused and
in the now

no booze for Today
just for
Today

tired of waking in my
own messes
of dreaming of where
Ive been
the nightmare oasis
of not caring

Hell I really do
care really do
feel

empathy I had a strong
rationalization of at
one moment
one season long ago
before it was stolen
by that first drink
the only drink
I need pass by

sitting here dressed
in clean clothes
fed and rested
my my how far Ive come
not long ago hung over
and stinking rancid
of sweat booze and piss
unshaven and hair unkempt

there is no walking on both
sides there is only one
destination and I can chose
like others

and yet another we befreinded
and greeted is dead
Took their own life earlier
last month
oh my freinds have I been there
taunted by the darkness
yes yes I have
and yet Im still here
because Ive seen the purpose of
God in many
saw too many coincidences that
are not coincidences
but true little miracles
they need not be large
for even a simple man such as I
to fathom their strong medicine

and so I go along
knowing that I am the vessel

2:24 p.m. - 2011-11-09

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