orgami's Diaryland Diary

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Gettin' through a friday

hitting the two week wall again
ten years I got a one month dry
period maybe four times
Ten fucking years....wow
just totally out there in the
LahLahLand wandering around
coming in for rest like Reality
is the R and R instead of the
other way around Maybe out
there no one can really reach
me No one can hurt me Except
Im hurting everything
cant win at this
cant beat it
nor join it really

lifer shit man
aint never gonna let me go
is it??

gotta work it
and im so tired
feel like Im underwater
somedays
thinking about all the
worlds woes and my
unit around me
hearing their woundedness
their survival stories
all the shit people have
to endure sometimes
its crazy

Overwhelmned
but no wonder I try to keep
going when I should just put
it down Hit three hours of
sleep and rely on pain killers
to keep me up and at em'
like I'm fighting life sometimes
like I'm mad at it or something

ah well thats me
when Im calm I have a cool
voice it levels people
sooths its a gift like the
poetry I write on another site
and here in tid bits

I just have to relax I aint
the cavalry maybe
sometimes its hard to tell
because I can just feel things
out sometimes
a gift too and sometimes a
great thing to have
I guess Im supposed to pray
then
I believe in something bigger
then just this level of being
Ive seen some serious shit
and what some would scoff at
but I was there I saw miracles

cant talk about that though
like a lot of stuff just come
here and scuff the stones with
the tip of my shoes and look
at the cracks in the sidewalk
and watch the clouds for snow
or rain

feel the flakes or drops and
feel alive

at least I have that
the most strongest basic thing
there is
and empathy

10:18 p.m. - 2011-11-18

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