orgami's Diaryland Diary

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exhaustive study

I dont want to dream
im back in moms kitchen
or Dads kitchen
I can see all the details
I want to forget about
those places
Hear their voices
waiting for them to start
giving me hell for not
coming to see them when
they died I want to
tell them why but we all
know why and it just
is sad sometimes Sometimes
the happy endings keep
coming back

I want to laugh
I want to cry
I want to get so drunk
I might never wake up

sometimes I just keep going
like this because thats what
people do I used to just
sleep all the time until the
dreams would drag me in and
I would wake up in different
years Now I just avoid them
thank you very much
Oh I know they will get me
tonight I have to sleep
or maybe not sometimes I get
a decent sleep i can never
tell Other then that I had
a terrific day writing everyone
and enjoyed my walks alone My
meal alone in Twiggs surrounded
by people so it wasnt like being
alone in my room and enjoying
the home cooked dinner at the
soup kitchen Even though I
didnt talk to anyone so I was
alone All I know and want
for Christmas is the snow
I never learned to ski I dont
sled or ice fish I just walk
around getting lost in the vivid
beauty of it The moods and lighting
the silence and ferocity sometimes
maybe thats when Im happiest
that or the rain

8:37 p.m. - 2011-12-20

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