orgami's Diaryland Diary

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dying

my parents were dying
old in their paths
moms hands black with
bruises

i just never went back
just threw a switch in
me that I dont touch

and dad died of a stroke
in his kitchen wife loaded
him up in his car and he
was dead when they rolled up
to emerge Died with his
shoes on at home like he
wanted

Dennis like them all didnt
want to die Doesnt but
cancer is all through him

we liked to watch movies
I would lay on the floor
like my facebook pics and
he would lay on Loris couch
Taya would curl up in the easboy
and Brenda and Lori would sit
on the little couch

I dont want him to die but its
not my say..I have to stay here
in this empty complex apartment
with the pets while the family
gathers around him up there to
say their goodbyes

I didnt say a goodbye to him I
just knew, with them gone I
see how Im gone in their lives
when I leave here.. gone to be
gone in my life too my own
kind of death I chase

I am not sleeping at all in months
so many ghosts More now then the
living in the dreams
and the living become ghosts to me
calling me out

Taya and I spending some good hours
now one of the closest people
in a long while

Neo just keeps getting more intense
and Im falling further with Damiho

1:58 a.m. - 2012-01-22

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