orgami's Diaryland Diary

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tangled hearts

Im ugly..never had good looks
or decent body
no refinements
a cave man with hungry eyes
and an intelligence that is
not useful something special
for a purpose that I cant put
to use to make much worth

Poor forever.......

and yet..had the few bright
angels come forward to play
make my heart sing
make my hunger roar

So I never follow it up
I can live longer on the
dream of them
the essence of what if.s
the illusion
then reality

no one wants to be with
me

Im a poet a writer
I work
I bomb about on the bike
sit in the library and
prowl the mall
and watch the weather
take the dogs for a walk
and work for the girls here

Living with someone is better
then living alone
even when romance and passion
is pretty much gone

when intimacy is a long quiet
ghost

I had years of living with no
one...I had the passionate years
the bar scene the night time
walks and talks
the sunsets and moonrises
laying in moonlight while
a breeze stires the curtians
and a freight calls

I cant imagine it..Ive lived it
so Im lucky..some never get this
some never retain the former lovers
as friends to write too like I do

I have tried much and found it
well not wanting
my memory is alive with much adventure

I like going out and not having to
work as a team about decisions
I go alone with a list Bunnie makes
me and I can alter my time..
sit and people watch..spray on the
tester cologne and buy a DAVIDS TEA
(earl grey) from the brunette beauties
scan real estate boards to see what the
temp is for selling buying and all that
(one ex was real estate broker with own
small company in super summer rich muskoka)

My bike keeps me in shape..If I had a car I would be fat like before and aging fast..filling up with cholestoral
and miss chatting with the crazie and sane and out there people of my city..

I wouldnt be a myth as I am
I would like to have had a life
other then this But im not stupid
I realize what this gives me too

three hours is another meeting
and Im tired windburned
and need to do a complete cleaning
of house tommorrow.. Bunni cooks
cleans when Im not here
and I need to do it...I do a thorough
job..Long ago we ran properties for a
short period..enough that I was well
liked..all my properties were well
loved and not just run down into the
ground

I may just go have a bath and then
climb into a comfortable bed
in the quiet upstairs room I get
hit a morning meeting tommorrow

keep thinking about the tangled
hearts though....
its harder being a lone wolf but
its easier to make the varying
moves too
and I like this freedom
I have tasted the steady
trail of walking with another

doesnt mean I cant stop
smiling at the intelligent and
pretty who come to say hello
either!!!!

grrrrr

4:59 p.m. - 2012-11-24

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