orgami's Diaryland Diary

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..............AWNING...............

wind is around it
dragging its flayed edges
the sun has struck it

I'm trying to read
and I cant get past
the first few paragraphs

so I give up and drink
my large Yirgacheffe
sweet from the two brown
sugars I love to stir in
and spend minutes dissolving
the crystals in its hot creamy
depths with a wafer thin wooden
stick

there is nothing I would want
for more then to finish a moment
sitting across from her

I can feel the propane heater
and see the lights on the old urban
trees along the street
This busy bar beneath the falling
night...the patio and our hunger
to consume the distance between
us

except we are caught in the moment
awkward..skirting about the issues
never settling...timid and happy to
just do this dance..light and with
motion..feeling out all the years
to see what was real....ten years
come and gone...It really changes
people...marriage children job...
im still picking tins from the road
to get coffee and hitchiking...
shes got her late model wagon..

The red hair and the dark brows..
I look at her eyes behind the long
lashs the mascara..they are the
same....nothing changed..leaning
forward her face in the light from
the bar..pale and waiting as always..
and yet. We dont kiss..we dont hold
hands or play footsies..Just watch
each other and sip our coffee

She orders me dinner...Im skinny then
My hair isnt that long like now...Im
not who I am now...Im still the same
lost soul who got on the train and
rode down through the night to land
there for a visit long ago..The snow
falling down through the tall dark
trees on campus..the busy highway
heading down the ravine a block over
the trains still calling far away..

I can tell she wants to cry and I feel
frustrated I have no easy words
So many would embrace and laugh tell
jokes and go dancing or hold hands
and walk..find a corner somewhere and
make love...It would not be me..Im
hungry but not for dinner..

I remember the softness of her mouth
how it travelled and caressed and
tasted along the route of my skin
and my hands how they slid across
her shoulders and along her arms
down her sides across her stomach
to her thighs

we didnt speak much then either
the candles flickering
and an all night radio station
playing softly
the bed quilts beneath us

snow falling slow and powerful
in the hush of the city glow

the wind is picking up
the awning ripples like a dark birds
wing

I have to get going
walk along the street
and try to not think about her

but its all I do......

11:17 p.m. - 2012-12-11

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