orgami's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

p a t r o l

the rains....October in its stripped down perfection....the mood settling...half way between where I think I need to be and leaving from where I thought I had to remain....
one of the more difficult moments
...but I realize I can move through
this..no matter how much I have going
on on lavers and in the depths of the
labrinth of my mind.....awake the old
histories..the old ghost and spirit..
I was afraid once..but not anymore..
they are versions of me standing now..

I am happy..a lot going on for the
betterment..the good..

just feel like survival mode
feel like there is an intel purpose
in today....working had to make it
through with focus and being grounded......cathartic all this today....payday two days time..

writing this down..a passage in
passing....I feel overwhelmned
and depressed...feel like Im not
here for everyone in my life.
a few close ones..very close
...

anyway....work...coffee there..
and the radio and some work
some work for the day...

just need some sleep and to get
eating write again..
down to two hundred pounds
havent been this thin or getting
skinny in a long long time

going off all the shit and taking
my meds takes time to adjust too..
but like hell if Im giving in to
being like all the other old guys
I see out here....just because they
cant change or dont want too
...

this is difficult to work through
this stuff....feels like a jumbled
ball..but not something that is
impossible just daunting...

a challenge...

something with an outcome..
rather then just the spin
going round
and round
and getting
sucked down...

9:57 a.m. - 2013-10-16

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next