orgami's Diaryland Diary

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SKRATCH

oh you spoke
the tan telephone
in the darkened room
swallowed up in my moral
decay and drinking gin
till the ghosts came
in

the showers of torrent
to cleanse me
the television like a
light of reason
sending its backdrop
laugh track

the letters to the library
where i lived each hour
each day soaking up the
dream
dreaming the ghost

while the snow fell in
the cold end of autumn
the stars glittering
like the puddles breaking
beneath the tender streetlights

i was so far and beyond
the gone then
living and not know who
further i had been

reading your old letters
now..the song links
the care you crafted
and how i was so busy
unravelling all the knots
you were like a kite moving
higher and higher
till you were out of my
reach

sadness and beautiful

lana del rey now
not even your songs..
but its you
an american version

i felt poorly when i was
drunk every day
and now im sober
no want to drink
there are no answers
there no help

so the next answers
are the old madness
come arriving

i hope not
that land is a buzzkill
but i feel the weight
of it..

so i watch inspired movies
like bringing out the dead
suckerpunch
etc..
because those are others
lives and stories..
not mine...

i dont even know anymore
or care about any of that...

a scar that hurts still
your letters tender and
full of youthful happiness
and now you are gone..
like a ghost..
away...

cutting the trees and a dumpster
in the google pic
you would not do that
so who is left..
who is removing what you loved
and where did your love
remove you too?

and at the time..
i was not even there anyway
but lost in my head..
my heart lost
so what did it matter

nothing to do but dig in
like any good surviving
wolf does..
watch the stars and try to not
dream the same vividness
again..
but i know

and i hope i dont see you
there
i want you to be wherever
you are

want to keep these letters
forever...
because everything i love
slips away somehow
someway

i want to stay though
becaue maybe you will
come back

even though im not worth
it

12:38 a.m. - 2014-07-15

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