orgami's Diaryland Diary

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sa.....wha.......the frame......yah....

raining.....was.....ball lights..
we were up the trail...rain pouring down....sawing the little trees beneath the wires.....too late to get to the old reservoir..nothing big....dynamited a hole in the rocks on the hill long ago...low grades..nice trees...its sweet..rough poured in early sixties..cool down the equipment then...there is a creek just above..but it doesnt feed on the surface.....a little firepit no one uses anyway....those times of people going there is over....no one goes in the woods anymore.......i do....i just never get up there on my own...always got the dog...always breaking or pulling limbs..weeds..rolling rocks out of the way.....working on the front entrance again....everyone now seeing me and the dog working on this stuff....they know i like..love..am obsessed with the trail up the hill anyway......why not..i got nothing else.....the old lady lost in her world..television...as long as she gets what i give her....the other things.....we broke our love long ago....its okay....we have a nice place...but its hard....i go out and see everyone holding hands...in love..talking about love....come home to chores....routine.....and we are not close...its like loving the moon..

the young adult is away.....got her own man...hes got a nice place she picked....her ex girlfreind works out front in the hair saloon....a nice one too...uppity...three moves and more in one.....she just toys with us...men..that is.....i give up...she was a muse..but that keeps changing....its not lolita and hum or whatever that dudes name was...and im no claire quilty or whatever.....

i had a chance at some..but they were not what im used too...small fish...ive been out there in the bigger world..how can i say settle...i cant....what im looking for doesnt exist...

so in the meantime they live in this decent housing place....one of a kind for canada and american standards....its nice..i get along with people here....i got my others down on lakeshore...they laughed....lakeshore meets..such and such...but i would walk all the way and then return again...it was done..just like that......just tired....do women know about lady mcbeth and the beayux tapestries or care.....do they know Garbage im your number one fan....have they read atwood and others.....

too old to go looking now......its okay...i go to mall..i go take my dog on walks....life is over for me....i shall enjoy my time..no romance.....no passion...i can have a good life just here....its not that important to have passion ..sex...in my life....to be someones special person......to live in the ruin of your eight year relationship thats got more battle scars and wear then any five year renlistment for what? because no one else does it....ha ha ha....anyway i do love my little woman...its just we have always been miles and miles apart.....kind of nice though......its strange..weird...and thats different.....so be it.....we all get together for fam dinners...we are all different....but we like each other..even though we rattle on at each other too.....pretty normal.....

dog and i did a big number on the trail...limbing..cutting some trees..the little ones..pulling weeds.....exhausted....doing laundry here..happy to have this machine back in the basement....fantastic.....feels good....

shall get to see kurio girl at the pawn shop when i go get my sterling soon..my ring and money clip...i dont have money i just found this sterling clip..its very cool and they give me ten bucks a month when i put it in...go wander about their shop dreaming.....then leave....i think kurio likes me....shes like in her twenties at least....im fifty and heading up there....sad....my life is over....over .....i need more lana del rey...i feel like shit.....but i dont feel like drinking...fuck that shit..ha ha

12:37 p.m. - 2014-08-20

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