orgami's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

wordshot////////////////////

compilationz....

i have moments..the sunlight..the heat..
the bike joints dry and making a racket..but i dont care..i havent even
bothered with the light bike....new cables..new chain needed..
parked it here starting to realize how
people gather stuff....items..money..
ghosts...lovers..lined up waiting..
they give up..ghosts..haunted to some
other happiness while the weather smiles.
while the clouds press in and drop their
deluge..their steady tears washing all
the grit out of the visions of discovery
and losses....

i just dug in and stayed angry..easier to
deal with it all..stayed drunk in the
loop the depression sitting at the side
of the ractrack waiting for the wrecks
to add something to the soundtrack..

there was a smile..a summer once..
the radio soft and blowing in like
the wind in the maples....
the fresh cut grass still alive..
still good in the night..the crickets
of fall waiting for the cold to
silence their song
the moon growing...emerging from the
dark like a dream unforgotten...

wrap the images about the dreams
they emerge....they are arriving now..
sitting with them now..more real then
the day to day.....how i always thought
of reality as a twin to this...the
other side of realms.....

throw on Pioneer to the Falls..forget Lana for awhile....wait for
hollymaezer....

the trails the dog wont even go up now.whinning at the bottom of the hill...thought i was happy up there...but even the tent people moved down to the edge closer to town...the fires someone started in the little firepit they abandoned two years ago..no one stays up there at night....the runners running through..dont stop..
dont sit...

its poisoned...staked out now for development
put up a housing tract..the rich can
buy off the mediums to cleanse the
land..let them have their view of
us poor ones down here..
the lake ..the deep clear lake
with its places...its meaning..
i dont swim in it...

i havent swam in the other lake
for a year.....

the last three years are like the
twilight zone......everything
running in reverse in complexity
and layers....should be so excited
by all of this...this is what i
wanted...what i talked about so
eagerly contesting the views...

and now..............

leanne is gone
everything has fallen back to
what it was supposed to be like
long ago

glad i never spent time with any
of them...........here...with this
ones name tatooed on my hand
her brilliance and all she has
been through....the silent halo
no wonder no one can..wants to
bring a name past anyones lips
sacred..scorned and taboo...
reciting the dead can bring them
back....

and i wander now like a ghost
hating what i am these days
getting a hand on the back
an arm about me
some smokes..some cash..
a free coffee

funny when you gain the hill
and realize all those that
paid and never wanted
the top even
just to be
at the bottom and side

gotta be bad when im listening
to Interpol and im not even that
bright..

smoking so many cigarettes
that the solar light runs
out of power...thats funny
and sad..

hating falling asleep
and loving work
how we work so well..
fluid....intuition
from all the years of
repetition

my cheap shot joy
that i thought was something
was an empty hope

this is where all the lesser
thens throw themselves under
the speeding trucks
turn their bikes their cars
on the highway into rock cuts
go out the flamin wrecks
the hopless with still hope
they cant feel it

i just know
i just know
that there is more

that all the beginning
was just training for this

and how i hang on to kurio
now....stupidly
a simple smile
hold something dear
and valuable

just some rings
not even anyone elses

i just realize i dont have
a clue about so many things
writing like im an expert

im just as fake
as i hated it to be...............

2:56 a.m. - 2014-09-02

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next