orgami's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

overcast..and colder...

waiting...on..
all the layering
one more day till pay
one more day for meds
enumeration

which the doc forgot or didnt
fill in...scripts..
at the pharmacy

waiting on that
if she got it last night
will she fill it or
wait till today to roll
in...and she had a bad
cold but is die hard dedicated
to the place

someone who cares
who has a brilliant mind

and I wake up from this long
sleep
full of dreams
feeling it all

take my meds which were suggested
and feel pretty shakey
but was that before or after
the affects
its like jumping into the water
the moments when im not sure if
im uspide down
sinking or floating upward
still turning submerged

the old non medicated me
was wild
full of noise thoughts
rambles and sizzling
my right hand shaking good
but im also running
heavy on ideas...chasing
thoughts
like before

and i remember all my friends
or chums i talked too about
their medications
what they hated
such as the need to eat
your stomach on some
make you hungry
need sweets..something

off meds is horrible
the spin up and spin out
and crashes more deeper
troubling
and the coping mechanisms
less and less forgiving

im trying it though
i want this to work somehow
to keep my job..my home..my
family...my routines..as best
i can.....

listening to old u tube videos
and finding music i had not thought
about in years and years
childhood on..and not in the nostelgic
way but in a manner of experience
i can feel the sun through the trees
and the dirt..the sound of boats on
the lake and voices carrying on the
summer days..the sounds of our life
clearly..

and im seeing clearly too all what
people were giving me along the way too..
breadcrumbs that made the entire loaf
of bread...a sharing of intel in a single
phrase..song....

the more non sensical it seems the more
sensical it really is..

gotta make some calls and try to get
the show going here...got my pack i left
at a chums with the cleaner and
such in it....too tired to do anything
last night.....off meds i dont feel the
tiredness...on meds i feel when i should
be tired..etc....

that part makes sense..

other then that things going as planned

..

9:26 a.m. - 2014-10-01

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next