orgami's Diaryland Diary

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change

heard about some guy divorcing and crying about not seeing his kids
and I can remember deciding that I
dont need to get Chloe in between Carolee and I because she would grow up
to really dislike the possible fighting
that may or may not have occured but
we were beginning to get close to that edge so I just walked away one day
and never went back It hurt for years
because I thought i was such a bad father a failure because I walked away
(I had been between my mother and father in the past when they divorced and that was fucking hell..I have since prayed to them after they passed and have forgiving them entirely)

However I finally Phoned Chloe when she said I would be okay and we have been
calling each other and writing each other and Carolee drove Chloe up awhile ago and Chloe and I had a great time
up here walking about the city
hanging out at the dock talking and sitting at the edge watching the sunset
with everyone else down there

Lori said that time changes people
and encouraged me to get in touch
Its so hard
I wouldn't be near as open face to face
with any of you but this machine makes it easy because there are little in the
way of expectations its all just a screen

Reading the Road Less Travelled again
and its great reading realize I am
going through another change

.........

3:12 p.m. - 2005-08-08

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