orgami's Diaryland Diary

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so whats new

hello there
its me Orgami or Steven as my real name is

just got in from shopping at the Independent store in NOrth Bay
we of course got our cheque today
we fill up two shopping carts worth
of food and then break it down into
smaller freezer bags (meat that is)
we get a cab from the store to here
(cost is eleven dollars)
groceries were two hundred and a half
but we are set for now
Still have to pay bills but thats
tommorrow

At school this morning my teacher said
i should go to college for english
apparently I am very good at english
so thats nice to know
Went and had my meeting with my new
psychiatrist that was bothering me in
the beginning because this will be my
third in a few years time
but it went well enough
(i think)

i still feel crappy about myself
that I'm a failure at beuing a freind
and father and spouse etc etc
all the old tapes playing in my head
from my family Even though my parents
are both now dead They lived to be
old though My mom was almost seventy
and my dad was eighty one so that was
good for them I made peace with them
but the old time voices still play
I try to ignore them but they haunt
me at night worse then ever lately
the only way to shut them out was to
get completely wasted on booze and pills
but that led to other serious problems
and I havent been taken to the pshych
hospital for a drug overdose in ages

i'm tired right now and have a bit of
a headache I find I need naps in the days lately not sure what thats about
probably depression but I am on meds
for this Just havent been sleeping
well stupid damn dreams about the family
home and talking old talk

crazy huh?

plus one day the sun shines and the next
it rains But I like the rain
still the overcast makes my back ache
or the rain in the air
sore back thats not good

but I am happy about the spring
being here and the lake being free of
ice and reading my freinds notes to me
here on Diaryland
Lori and I are getting along well
and find our work satisfying at the
shop where we paint craft items
withe everyone else There is the
woodcutting side of the shop but I
never went there I went right into
detail painting

was out bus riding last night
just bumping and lurching about the
city on the NEW FLYER buses flashing]
my bus pass and climbing aboard

had fun even though its hard on me
we download music on our computer
here We have Soulseek and Blubster
and I download Siouxsie Sioux and
blondie etc so I am happy to hear
my music and Lori downloads her metal
bands

anywy must be going for a nap now
thats what I am up to these days
Oh yah I bought a good can opener
today Swing away can opener its a
company in the states and they build
good can openers so I dont have to
open cans hobo style with the old
stay sharp knife I got last fall
(its rather dull now hah hah)

anyway fare thee well for now
Scammy

5:32 p.m. - 2006-04-26

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