orgami's Diaryland Diary

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evengelical stipulation

i was mortally afraid of
fireflies in my youth

my brother would force the
curtians open in our small
bedroom we shared as youths

and i would see them up
at the edge of the feild
where the black cherry tree
stood

that tree that is gone now

i would scream and cause a
great calamity possibly even
cry

cant remember why i was afraid
of them

just dreaded the falling of
night

my father tried to show me
how interesting they were
by squishing one in his strong
section mans fingertips and
writing his name Howard on
the clotheline pole at night

i think that did it for me
the actual thought of squishing
that wiggling crunchy thing
and then seeing its guts
glowing like that

and then at night we would drive
through them coming back from
the cottage in the low swampy
areas along #592 and they would
burst on the darkened windsheild
of the old sedans and their glow
would stay there until my horrified
eyes would look away

how did i live with bugs in that
apartment i roomed
they would crawl across me under
the blankets and wake me up

they would skitter when i would
get a coffee cup from the kitchen
in the night

prayer to god or jesus or whomever
helped to get me here

i still dont believe i am here
that i am not dead

makes a person start to think about
Purpose

gotta go again

..O..

12:35 a.m. - 2007-06-19

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