orgami's Diaryland Diary

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a to b

im getting old
feeling it now
the worn left hip
that locks
to the back that
never is quiet
the pain constant
static
aching like a slow
burning fire
producing smoke
and no heat

drop some here
and pick up lots
there

my contacts i have
contacted now

writing poems
which are easy

talking from the
heart so hard
the old messages
commands of emotional
hostage from mother
wry humour sometimes
desparaging from father

conflicts of rejection
still unresolved
so impossibly stupid
to admit defeat
I am powerless

and another freind
writes
"let it go"
meaning in her life

everyone seems deep
simmering objectives
depression
sancticties of falsehoods
trading needs for
comventional looks
a structure of normalacy
will slaying dragons
with hormones and
prescriptions
umbrellas for
emotional rains

everyone sucking on
their favourite crutch
a lover
a bottle
a needle
a pill

fractured sunrises
the terminal velocity
of my age i never
imagine i would feel
at indesctructable
twenty

twenty long years passed

the sky is dark
the rains fall
snow will fall
in flurries wet
and sloppy

needs wants
values
traditions
beliefs

4:37 p.m. - 2008-10-20

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