orgami's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Wurldz away...........
looked like storm earlier...life ongoing like usual...laptop at kitchen table...bunni's place....im a mere occupant here....no twenty four hours needed to vacate if shit hits a fan....like it this way..more pro.. a hot jet just flew over the city fast...buzzing the city..airport..sounds big..not the canadian snowbirds...this was a large bird of war...always something with this big airport up on the hill.. beautiful birds..saw the big pileated wodpecker near the store when i went for coffee.....its big fast and turning over the lake....hazy..looks like a storm brewing..havent checked britt radar to see whats coming in over the lakes our way...georgian bay..lake huron etc.. A moving out slowly...natural progression....B out on the walk today..me holding down fort waiting for delivery of new goods..the usual.. fifty...holy shit..i dont mind it..age is natural...odds of making it this far are great..today im still here..wtill writing...still writing.. dog under control....the new dominant leader role is working well for me..havent drank alcohol in seven months..longest in thirteen grueling years.....other substances do not give me the shit role that booze does.. coffee holes going well..summer here for its short run..three little months...then back to cold..winter..snowflakes..seven months to christmas and all that rush..the holidays..get together and then get lost for the rest of the year... not a big social person in some ways and a big social presence out there..no cash for fishing...like fish pole..liscence..boat etc....no golfing..the fees for a day is too high..i work part time barely..fixed income and that has to pay rent and groceries and the coffee and cigarettes...havent bought new clothes in ages....shoes wearing out..nickle and dime life but its a life.. kids were here..rooming it....no chores for them....put their dishes in the bathroom and leave.....five years of accepting the boy friend..heavy on boy..and he leaves a nasty letter to my old lady....thanks for the hole in the drywall for your wrestling with the step kid....thanks for walking in and putting everyone down in here and brainwashing the kid on how you are fun and capable and all...i know its not about him but the kid with the brain and put through the grinder of life......this is just another..but hes hung on for all the years now since she was fifteen and he was eighteen....at that age i wasnt considering dating a woman that age.... but met his parents..dad hustles makes cash..hes big alpha...mom is perfect teeth little busywoman in the little town...no ones good enough for my son..and the history to get this far.. hes bright and capable and anal retentive to the cows moon and back...she likes the control that he puts into it....flowers...drives in the truck.....rides..on the phone twenty four seven....all through the night..mornings etc..she likes that attention.....and some of it may seem good....no wearing revealing clothing..no wearing make up or dyeing her hair blonde like it was...no male friends on facebook....ok all the get togethers with male friends...full perusal of computer and cell phone on his coin...she was testing the waters and when fully decked out in make up and hair dye and very ordinary revealing clothes to the days style like all kids wear now..(19) with he good genes..beauty and small well proportioned figure she turned heads..almost caused car crashes...she is old school from her people that raised her...has the little family voice the women use to get what they want..thats okay..they do have great hearts....and an edge of anger and voice to put the men in their place pronto... he himself is not wonderful....not flexible...very agressive...wound up like a cheap watch....his big propoganda on how hes so nice doesnt work....in the complex he was waving his arms about ove r her constant cell phone use...when they were getting ready to leave..he doesnt do this to her in front of us or me..and its okay when she is using the phone to call him all through the twenty four hour clock..he phones every three hours when she is not with him..and he moves like they are siamese twins everywhere she goes..she has to block him from the bathroom so she can see her other contacts on his phone he bought for her....hes waving his arms and the neighbors who keep a good eye on things called the local city police and we got a female..a nice officer come and check things out..he stood entire time the meeting inside the door here took place..and even put in a barb to her when she was joking to himn about what they went to buy for dinner...he cannot not have the last word and really cant help it when females are concerned..... not that i cant relate to mothers on your case twenty four seven... he had jobs that he whined to us about.how dangerous they were..how terrible everyone was too him..not one job does he say..he likes this guy or girl...what he learned..how it was nice they hired him...anal retentive..i work with a little guy just like this guy..i go to work and deal with this humorless other whom loses it and yells at the female front staff..throws shit....etc..and then come home to deal with this.. when he was away we cruise about normal..open doors unless proper changing etc.....hes here its all close doors...if the step kid talks to me hes right downstairs sitting..kissing hugging...begging her with his eyes to come back to the room where they hole up..or when he sleeps she comes to talk the day to day intel wth me.... mom and him had it out when he first arrived....he tried to rat cops on her over facbook statement....hes that much out to bust up systems.....only his system is the best i guess..except its hard to say hes doing all this..when he lived here to save money rather then get an apartment...when the kid met him he was going to college on his moms coin..and from summer money he made working with all the terrible people who gave him a job....and those contacts then were his dads..... hes like a kid with a toy or stealing other toys blowing up the systems on the way through......tries to get A to see how horrible we are....money etc...he needs the cash for his expensive apartment A picked for him in an upgraded upbeat place....but they argue much and he will flail his arms again..or start hitting her or acciddently swing his arms and biff her nose..that kind of oh im sorry stuff. her only friend in high school has issues like we all..she hangs out with her...that kid has money spent on her buys things we cant afford and shares them to the step kid..a little tough nut and likes men....dresses suggestively etc...thats personal choice...but he wrote nasty letter to her...apparently the kid is still hanging out with her bestie....the bestie feels the same about this fellow who makes it his way to clearly make people not like him...his attitude is a should be like him..think like him..wear the same hats..glasses..move in his moves..etc.. A hooks him gives him it all.... she likes the power control too..shes very very bright.... he only wrote horrid mediocre letter when B said he cant be here now that he has his own place...i think he was expecting to just come here and we would creep about the house when he slept...after being up all night long....the kid cant phone him when he is sleeping...we have to creep about when he is here in our house...and when they are here they are down in kitchen clanging about or waking up in morning closing my doors loud.hes saying.ha..im shutting the door...thumping about.. so you got your place..you stay there.. he even came and got her bike or she did telling her they would go biking together which is good..but that came about two years ago when i said i would go biking with her...she uses me to get him going..keep him locked into her world....his character and my character are similar...but ive got something more... hes like all mine all mine i won..etc etc..which would be fine if that would keep him hap[pyu but i know these guys or girls...girls can be the same...the hits grow..the drug that people are dont give them the kicks...amped up over the top.... i liked the kids wit....liked how the kid was way beyond what people think..pack up gossip mongers like ninety per cent....i am..im doing it here too..but im laying down this track in case anything drastic happens to them ...a note is all..... she was buying him nice stuff to get him interested in photo..tablet..case for his phone....gifting him..and she mentioned the one gift and he never said boo..never said look what A bought me..just sat there with that stupid look on his face...probably giving her shit for our intel exchange.... i know what she is interested in elsewhere.....its not a limited style or person race or creed...complex.... i dump cache timestamp my writing here..any surveillance and evidence body that i saw when i was in jail that ten days comes from these dispatchs..phone exchange....a trail...i understand humans and people very well..and the machinery and tools of all of this.. i knew this since i was a kid.i got groomed because i was bright not an acadmenic or street versed person.. what do i want..what am i up too..how do i feel about all of this.. i defend my feelings..space...you pack up with me and say im a part..then i will defend it....but i also let people run the gammut..and end up fixing up and walking up and backing up all the fuck ups also.....and im donating my pension that i busted my ass for and went through hell and back to have it...and this part time job also.....i have a lot of haters because i dont sign up and throw people under the bus..it takes effort be be decently good..;not perfect perfect.....my shit stinks..ive gotten into shit....not whitewashed fake good..i dont need to write idiot letters.... so get past all defense..come into my head space where im mostly live..im very articulate and see things well..i have great gift of intuition...i have all this potential..stacks of it...and in todays world of exploiting everything for a dollar it drives people mad...like just because there is oil there..do we need to destroy the environment..no..just because there is timber in this valley..do we need to slash cut and burn it naked....no..but there are those that will push out the villagers to get that.... and they are still not happy.. you cannot steal a connection. i write poetry here mostly dont need to go to the wider audience if any....someone wants to make the effort and read this..thats great..im not promoting it...i believe in minds that find things..access it..appreciate it and let it be like lennon sang.. he went through all the computers.. its whats in your head youcant steal been on the periphery with people for years.....had an oppurtunity to fall in with others who had jobs..were great beauties....but i love the broken and intelligent nitty gritty.....
i love intel..intelligenc period..
the kid is rare but there are more people out there..in my city and im meting them slowly..or more like this...i dont change my routine so they come to me..... i have a great voice....much that i got called a cult leader...not into it..too much work....more philospher artist poet then political activist which i was called too long ago...i like authentic..i like the real.... thats it so far... i try to keep in contact with those that watching systems unravel now..girl gave her time money to put her hubby throw college and now they made it he is trying to dump her....macho community man etc.....but karma has a lot to play on things..and i believe in karma.. i got my dog..my old lady..i have a lot of genuine interesting contacts..i walked it..got the ghosts and medals badges i dont need...my eyes...my energy wave speaks what i am......i like what i am at this age......im happy with me...its harder to try to be of help then exploit it all and make the nasty nbote at the end and move on..like shitting in your old position.... anyway..will return with poetic nicy nicey stuff later..rolling this out for me to come back to and read..everything is rolling good today though...no major issues... 12:38 p.m. - 2014-06-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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